Mixed Emotions!

Ok as the time draws near and I am about to have Carlie, I can't help to have many mixed feelings. I am anxious, curious, excited, scared, nervous, sad, happy, and the list could go on. Why should I be sad?? I am sad because I am so scared I am going to let Aiden down, he has been my "baby" for the last 2 1/2 years and I spend every minute I can, watching him learn and grow, and playing with him, singing with him, reading to him and just having so much fun. I have so enjoyed have me and Aiden time and I am so scared I will not be able to give him all he needs. Am I crazy for having these thoughts?? Please don't get me wrong and think I don't want another child, I am excited to see Carlie, happy to have a second child that will grow up with Aiden and hopefully they will be best buds and great friends. Happy to see how much joy she is going to bring to our family. I love my little man so much and our "along" time is fixing to come to an end and it really upsets me, and I finally broke down a little tonight at my Mom's talking about where he was going to stay while I was at the Hospital with Carlie and talking about I needed to get his bag packed. I have tried staying strong and tonight I couldn't hold back, finally I broke and it felt good, since I have kept it bottled up inside of me. Aiden said "mommy why you crying". He is such a sweet and loving child. I hope these feelings are normal. I am so anxious to see and hold my baby girl and I can't wait for Aiden to see and hold her, he has been asking me forever when Baby Sissy was going to come out. He talks to her all the time and tells her to come out and play with him. He always rubs my belly and kisses it. He is going to be a great big brother. He will teach her so much. He means the world to me and I know my little Carlie will to. I hope I do not fail either one of them and I hope I can give them the best. I love being a Mommy and I know having two children will be an adjustment, but it will be the best adjustment ever. Please pray that I stay strong for the both of them as we adjust to the changes that are fixing to happen. I love my babies and I am so blessed to have each of them in my life.

We are making progress!

Well went back to the Dr again today after going Monday. Monday I was only a 1/2 centimeter dilated and he said he would give me 70%, well today I was a 2 and 80%, we are getting there, of course my Dr is going out of town so I should have known I would make some progress! LOL Here is the thing, he didn't seem to think I would make it until he got back, which would be next Tuesday and he said if I did go into labor Tuesday he would deliver.. So if I go between now and then I will not have my Dr, but what will be will be! If I am still pregnant when he gets back he is for sure going to deliver next Wednesday which will be the 18th! Today he said something that I wish he wouldn't have and I picked on him about it, he told me since I had made progress he would have sent me over from the Drs office, but the Hospital is slammed pack full! He said they are only taking people who are in active labor and not taking anything scheduled. WOW! I ask Dr Niner if he thought there was a baby boom going on! LOL So now we are just playing the waiting game as to when Carlie will be here, I ask Aiden and he said the strangest thing, when I asked him when Carlie would be here he said "the 15th" all by himself, nobody told him that, so would it not be crazy if I went then! He amazes me by the things that he say. I will keep everybody updated, it's just a matter of time now, I know I will not be going back to the office for any appts until after the baby is here.

39 week Appointment!

No change!! Go back Wednesday at 1pm to check for change and if nothing I will be waiting until after my due date when my Dr gets back in town. If I am still pregnant when he gets back in town which I am thinking I will be, he is going to insert a pill into my cervix (cervidil) on Monday evening and hope it gets things going , I think I will have to be admitted to the Hospital for this. I will keep all of you updated, I will be fine with still being pregnant until my Dr gets back since I do want him to deliver Carlie, and I think he is doing what is in the best interest of the baby and myself!

No Progress Yet!

I went to the Dr this past Monday which was February 2nd 2009, I thought for sure he was going to say I had dilated or something and he said I had no change! He had at first said he would induce me on the 10th before he left to go out of town, but at the appointment he said I was going to have to make a lot of changes if he was going to even consider that because he didn't want to risk a c-section. I ask him to estimate what he though Carlie would weigh and he said around 7 1/2 to 8 lbs and I was kind of surprised at that as well since Aiden was a little squirt weighing in at only 6lbs 6oz. So I am very anxious about when Carlie will decide to make some changes and also how much she will weigh. I really want my Dr to be the one to deliver so I hope Carlie will make some changed before next Monday, that is when I go back to the Dr again and he is going to check me again. Please pray she makes some changed and decides she wants to come out and join our little family. I will keep you updated. Keep in my I'm not due until Valentine's Day so I still have time!